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The guys with the really gaudy over- .400 averages mostly dated back to the 1890s.But Teddy Ballgame was the last guy who'd done it -- in 1941! My father hadn't been born yet, when Williams hit over .400!So I didn't care about Willie Keeler or Cap Anson or some dude from 1887 named Tip O'Neill. Hell, the rules of the game weren't even the same, way back then, when they were running up those ridiculous averages.But Ted Williams' and his .406? Oh, man! I wanted that one!I wanted to hit .407!We. I could only guess what the hell she was planning to do with that. "M-Ma—" I started. "Hush," she said, just loud enough for me to hear. "Your father's sleeping, and I don't want to wake him." My eyes widened some. Was she for real? Did she really plan on doing things to me with dad here? What if he overheard us and caught us? I wouldn't have to runaway. He'd happily toss me out the front door, but not before pounding me into a unrecognizable pulp. Strangely. Then she pulled back, “We’d really like you to not only do our taxes, but become a full time employee, working here in the office with Brenda, the brunette that was enjoying your juices between your legs” She went on to explaining my office would be the entrance to our pleasure room, where women who were wondering what a lesbian life style would be like. Brenda and I would be collecting the money and of course I would be taking care of all of the accounting aspects that the two of them had.. Jack and Jake, that's us, the Needham boys, John Junior and Jacob."Yeah," I yelled back, returning his wave. "It's not too bad this time."Soon we met at the end of the driveway where the plows had tossed up two feet or more of snow and slush which froze overnight. If Jack was surprised to see the sidewalk done he didn't say anything. We looked at the usual plow mess for a few seconds.Jack shrugged and said, "I'll chop, you shovel, okay?"I agreed, so Jack carried the aluminum bladed shovel back.
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