‘I love this old place. It knows all my secrets. Stuff that I can’t tell anyone else. I can trust it to keep my secrets.’ I smiled, knowing the feelings all too well. ‘Yeah. People like that are a rare find.’ She looked at me for a moment. ‘It’s been my hideout for the longest time. Not even Raven knows it’s here. I don’t think anyone does. Except you.’ ‘Why would you show me?’ I asked her, curious. ‘We’re not close anymore.’ She shrugged. ‘A writer needs a quiet place to write.’ Surprised, I. I make more money and can work less, but I can never make this a full time job. Explain more about that later. I keep a dairy because if I kept all these emotions inside I would explode. I am 27 years old and I still seem to care about what other people think of me. No one will know where I live, I just know that if anyone was to find out I would lose my job as a Christian Psychologist. I worked too hard to get there. I bet your tired of me writing about this stuff but I will tell you in detail. Oh fuck. Right, fuck it. There was nothing I could do about it. He knew how I felt and I can’t help the way I feel. I was in love with him and that was that. Really, I should just walk back in the pub, sit down and say to him, “It’s true. I’m in love with you.” But I couldn’t. No way couldn’t. No way could I do that. There was no way I could ever look at him again, now that he knew how I felt. I took a deep breath. Right, just walk out of the toilets and walk out of the pub. I’d probably never. The three girls trooped off to Sheila’s room for a Phensic and to take their Pills; we lads were of course trying to be rugged, and refused to admit that our thighs and buttocks (as well as our arms and shoulders) were feeling a tad abused by all the thrusting they’d been doing. As far as we were concerned, a bit of work on the vegetable preparation line would soon sort out any kinks!I went into the bedroom I was going to share with Julie for the next month or so, fished out some socks,.
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