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. he’s got to hold it or it’ll go limp! ... yeah, right, a bikini and an C-section scar ... Christ, if they had put in any more silicone she’d fall over...”For a second I thought it was just me. Maybe I was just too dumb to figure it out. But I looked around the room and met incredulous stares from the other guys. Without question, all the men had been transported to the Twilight Zone. And the women to the Comedy Club.“ ... men are such pigs! ... I wouldn’t touch our mailman with a ten-foot. He was legendary in the seedy gay underbelly. There was a blurry picture of the exalted one on the internet. It showed him sitting on some kind of throne. Clad head to toe in leather and studs, his face covered in a mask, the hair long, flowing and blonde. Rumors of his gifts and powers were the subject of much chatter on the web. Great. More bullshit in a bullshit world. I watched the pedestrian flow. I had not noticed the convenience store on New Years night. It must have been closed with. As I get to the bottom of the stairs I see my dad at the kitchen table looking at his tablet with a cup of coffee and a half eaten bagel in front of him. While next to him is my older sister by 2 years with a plate of scrambled eggs and 2 pancakes that are about halfway done with a glass of Orange juice on the side.“Hey nerd” my sister says. Which my dad raises his head “hey there princess. Just in time for breakfast “. My mom turns her head around the doorway “morning sweety. Let me make some. .." and she went on to pour forth the total story of her humiliation by the postal clerk, breaking into sobs of agony frequently.As she talked, Ralph was only half listening. He knew the story already, had Norma repeat it to him until he knew every detail. Instead, he looked around and saw that the back of the station wagon was empty, and that the rear seat had been folded down. Good, good. Plenty of room back there to fuck... can't do it here, not with these bucket seats and gear shift... Now.
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