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2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.4. Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings...”5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.7. There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.8. Virginity can be. .. if you aren't busy tonight I was thinking we ... um..."Another buzzer sound, this time from Rachel. "Baaahhhhhhh. No good. Go and try again." What did I do this time?" You were all over the place. Girls want confidence. Walk up and ask her out somewhere specific. Don't pause and hem and haw. Just ask. The worst that can happen is that she will say no. Who cares? There are other girls in the sea, Papi."I walked away and came back again. Confidence. Be sure of myself. Yeah, right."Hey Tami. Do. When I looked up at him, I could see he had his eyes closed, giving himself over to the pleasure of what I was doing.Moving my hands up, I unsnapped his pants and began to pull them down. Taking his cock out of my mouth momentarily, I worked it back through his underwear and pulled them down as well. “There” I whispered as I moved my hands around to squeeze his ass “Now I can do this right.” As I wrapped my lips around his cock and began sucking him again, I glanced sideways and noticed the. 'He'd best meet me, I need his cock! I've been looking forward to this all day!' I think to myself. I look again and to my relief, he's replied."Hey, baby, sorry I can't make it tonight, my parents have just dropped by and we're all going out for an unexpected meal. Sorry sexy."My jaw drops, I'm gutted - beyond words. But it can't be helped, can it? I message him back, "it's ok, I'll just have to get my vibrator out and think about you fucking me instead," followed by a winky emoji face."Send.
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